"Only that which we fear can keep us from greatness."

I've gone on a few hikes in my life. My dad said he took my brother Patrick and I on several hikes when we were younger; I mentioned the beautifully memorable Saddle Mountain hike in a previous blog. As a young child I went on walks with my friend Nicole and her family. A couple times a week Nicole and I would walk the 1+ mile round trip to Village Drug for 5 cent candy. As a teen I was not interested in walking or hiking and as an adult I went on a couple hikes in Colorado, Estes Park and another in Boulder; but there was no true desire or love. And about 3/4 years ago I tried to get Robb and the kids into going out into nature. I managed to get them out a couple of times but there was no true love for the activity throughout the group.

I think this changed when I discovered a love for hiking. I stumbled upon this love for hiking because Tyler loved getting out on the trail. We did some shorter walks, nothing too exciting, and then the trail I always wanted to do: Multnomah Falls. I had gone as far as the bridge but not further. Tyler and I went after work in August on a Saturday. It was muggy hot, the sun was out and there were no clouds; the trail went up and up for a couple miles, I was out of shape and we stopped several times. I really did not think I could do it and started to complain a couple of times before pressing forward. I discovered that I am a tenacious hiker, I don't tire easily, I have a good stride and a desire to move forward. I wasn't like this when we tried to get me up to the top of Multnomah Falls, but soon afterward I found my drive and motivation.

All of the hikes have a period at the beginning where I wonder if I can make it... and it seems like ever single hike starts by going uphill!! What are the odds?! What I have figured out is that I can push through my discomfort and it eventually goes away. I no longer fear the trail ahead of me because "what goes up, must come down!" There is always a descent after the ascent and it always seems to start when I don't think I can go any further. 

Only that which we fear can keep us from greatness.

The trail is nothing to fear.

For myself, and from what I have observed with Owee, hiking is about self-discovery. As women we question our strength and abilities and often we doubt these two things. As Owee told me before, she has a fear about these hikes and to squelch the fear, she feels she must confront them. 

The more blogs and accounts of their journeys on the PCT, the more I read the more I discover the motivation for the majority of the hikers take the trail to either find themselves, find purpose, or test their own boundaries. The definition of a pilgrimage is: any long journey, especially one undertaken as a quest or for a votive purpose. I feel "pilgrimage" describes the journey Owee and I are on. 

Owee is a Christian, she goes to church almost every week, she tries her best to live in a way that follows God's plan. Part of her journey is to sacrifice her comfort, push herself, and to show homage and dedication to something greater than herself. Has she said this? Not in so many words... beyond her desire to a be a "notable hiker" she has said she wants to do this for a cause, she has said she wants to face her fears, and she has said she wants to blaze the trails to push past her boundaries. I would also call myself a Christian, though I am flawed, I am a sinner, and every day I have to reflect on myself and ask for guidance, forgiveness, and strength... I am weak, meek, and imperfect. I want to start my pilgrimage on the PCT to find myself and strengthen my relationships with God, Owee, and with myself. I will make this pilgrimage as the hundreds have before me. I want to put on my shoes and I want to walk until I run out of trail. 

I don't know that I ever knew who I was, and at 29 (if you ask my children, they will tell you I am NOT 38) with three children, I still am not sure who I am. What defines me? What defines the person I am meant to be? Not every pilgrimage starts with religious intent but many end with an awakening. 

For a greater understanding of hiking and the pilgrimages we make, I recommend the movie The Way (it can be found on Netflix). It is my favorite movie; it is an emotional journey of a man who loses his adult son during that son's pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago (aka "The Way of St. James"). Martin Sheen's character experiences a spiritual and personal growth, as do the other pilgrims that join him on his journey; this band of misfits have a character or character element that everyone can relate to in some manner. I watched this after the decision was made to hike the PCT by Owee and it only inspires me further.

I think we all make a pilgrimage of one sort or another, all of our paths are different and all of us discover ourselves on our own terms. I don't know that many parents get the opportunity to make this journey with one of their children as I hope to make with mine.

Whether is is a 10 mile journey that brings us clarity, 2600 miles, or 1,000 future hikes... it reminds me of my childhood friend Nicole who always loved the saying, "Life is a journey, not a destination."